Cash Drawer

Well, I managed to get through the whole night without being snippy with anyone. whew!

At one point I did speak in a firm tone (but was still polite enough) to that manager who wants the rides home (and she didn't even try that again tonight).

Something's not right with the cash drawer. Maybe it's nothing, but I know better than to ignore this, so am watching.... Let me explain:

Before a staff takes over a cash register, the staff and the manager count what's in the drawer - together.

Then the staff signs off to say that the amount recorded and the actual amount of cash in the drawer match.

Then at the end of the shift, the manager and staff once again count the money together.

Overages or shortages are calculated,
voids are recorded,
and the staff signs off again to say that the counts are all accurate.

If a cashier is short more than $6, disciplinary action will be taken.

If a cashier has too many voids (it's a percentage, so that could mean as little as one void), then she or he is in trouble. (This means if a customer changes his mind about an order, if the change is significant enough, the cashier can get in trouble - sucks, but that's the way it is).

So that's the way it's supposed to go.

The first night on cash with this particular manager (the one who wants the rides), she told me I HAD to sign the ledger even though I hadn't seen the count. I was very uncomfortable about initialing anything I hadn't verified myself. I said as much and she was not happy about that.

The second night on cash with this manager, my drawer was $8 short at the beginning, before I even touched it.

Another manager caught this and told me not to trust the manager's count and to refuse to sign if it's not right. I would have been in trouble because of the first manager if the second one hadn't been wise to what was happening. I told the second manager about being ordered to sign off on another night when I was uncomfortable. She nodded and told me not to trust.

Another night when I was on cash, the same manager (the ride home one) told me she'd counted my cash and wanted me to sign off. I told her that I wanted to follow procedure and count it together.

She said, "Don't you trust me?" (That's a trick used by criminals, so the alarm bells went off in my head even louder.)

I said, "I need to learn to do things properly, so maybe you could help me learn by doing the count together with me."

We counted it - twice. The cash was $48 short!

But you know what she did?! She stated a number that was different from what we'd just counted! As if I wouldn't notice?

I said, "No." and said the correct number.

She said, "Yes, the guy before you is $8 short." (That wasn't right, either.)

I said nothing. I signed off on the correct amount that was in the drawer.

Later she came over and used my register and made a huge void. That's her void under my name.

At the end of the night, she didn't ask me to sign off on what was in the drawer. She should have got a number of signatures from me, but did not. I've been waiting for a more senior manager to say something to me or ask me about it, but have heard nothing. I don't know what happened with that cash total or that paperwork for that night.

Tonight, the same manager put me on cash, but didn't even count the cash in the drawer and didn't ask me to sign anything. Then partway through the night she tried to make a void on my cash register. I told her no, to go use another register. (This is what I mean when I said I got firm tonight.) She tried again. Again I said, "No." She was really ticked off and started mocking me. I said I wasn't trying to be rude, but still she couldn't do that on my register.

At the end of the night I didn't see her do a count and again I was not asked to sign anything.

I wondered if she's forging my signature? Coming up with an excuse as to why the paperwork isn't signed? What's going on here?

The signs are there that things are not right. I think I need to mention the situation to a more senior manager. This situation needs to be at least watched if not looked into further.

Cranky

I'm feeling very cranky and I don't know why.

Maybe it's that I've crunched some numbers and found that I'm still short $2608.00 every month.

Maybe it's because my body is soo tired all of the time and I'm tired of being tired.

I know I'm mad at myself today for falling asleep this morning and messing up my day - nothing accomplished. And I have to go to work at the other job and am now rushing around (don't like rushing, but it's all I seem to do anymore).

Maybe it's because I don't have time to do any of the things I need to do to take care of things around the house.

Maybe it's because... oh, the list goes on...

Maybe it just doesn't matter why I feel this way. The bottom line is that this is the way I feel and I've simply got to deal with it.

You see, when I'm feeling crusty or cranky I still don't think it's right or fair for anyone else to suffer for that - but it is harder to be patient, to be reasonable, to act out of love rather than how I feel at the moment.

But at least I'm aware of this. That means I can make a choice. I can make a conscious and concerted effort to act like a human being (instead of a bear - although sometimes I think bears are nicer than people - that's another conversation....).

Yes, everyone knows how I acted with the neighbour and my friend that day a few weeks ago... I'm not saying I'm always successful here :) But that was not the norm for me.

So today I will pray for the Holy Spirit to be very present in me, that He will help me to be Christlike instead of like myself. In the end, though, that is more like me than not because the Holy Spirit IS in me, is a part of who I am.

I also know that if I try on my own to be "nice" that I'll fail or come out with some mixed up version of what that is. I know that it will be Jesus who inspires and helps me.

Hey... what do you suppose Jesus would have done with the gossiping situation last night?

Gossip

Tonight I had my interview for the management position. The woman interviewing me told me outright that it was clear I had all of the skills they were looking for. (It's not like we're talking about rocket science here, though.)

So everybody was whispering to each other and glancing in my direction. I was warned that there are those who will be jealous and upset because I got promoted so quickly and got promoted ahead of them. I just shrugged my shoulders. Really, what is there to say to that? Besides, I'm use to that kind of crap. Another manager came to me to warn me that once everything is official, one of the other managers (the one who tries to get rides from me and keeps me late) is going to try to push me out. She said that a number of other new managers have quit because of this woman.

I said "Thanks for the warning."

Then a group of them started gossiping about this manager. I don't like the woman's tactics, but I'm not about to stand around slagging her behind her back, either. It's one thing for me to gripe about things here on this blog where no one knows who this woman is; It's quite another to say rotten things in order to be a part of the group.

I actually tried defending her. It didn't work so well, so I just changed the subject... but no one wanted to talk about another subject. I tried another one. Nope... They wanted to talk about somebody, not something. So I commented about how one particular staff was such a good worker. No takers on that one, either. I guess that saying something positive isn't juicy enough.

I really dislike that sort of thing. I've been the victim of gossip and it can be very painful. I don't want to do that to somebody else.

Better get to bed. It's getting close to 4am and I have to get up soon to work the day job.

God, please give me strength and wisdom.

A Bottle Of Wine

I've been having trouble with my sleep patterns - or lack thereof. I'm exhausted, yet even on nights when I don't have to work all night, my body has decided that it needs to stay awake that late anyway. But then I fall asleep at my desk during the day. Not good.

My doctor gave me a couple of sleeping pills. A couple isn't going to cut it but I wouldn't want to take more than a couple anyway because I'm worried about becoming dependent on them. Actually, I don't want to take any sleeping pills because of the side effects. They stay in your body for a long time and I don't need a drug hangover.

I've worked shifts in the past and have done okay with it, but this is different because I'm not merely working shifts; I'm working night shift AND day shift. The body and brain are NOT liking this.

I talked to some friends who work shifts to see what kinds of problems they face and what solutions work for them. More than one has recommended a glass of wine. I don't have any theological problems with having a glass of wine, but I am concerned about alcohol's depressant effect. The last thing I need to do is knock myself into a clinical depression. Been there, done that, never doing it again.

The doctor says a glass or two of wine is okay. My friend brought me a bottle of wine.

Tonight I thought I'd give it a shot (pun intended).

I had a glass of wine.

Nothing.

Not tired. Not feeling it.

Is there alcohol in this?

I had another glass. (For those of you who don't know, not only do I not drink, but one of my nicknames in University was "Half-beer Laurie")

I'm feeling relaxed for a change, but is it the wine or the fact that I'm not actually doing any work?

I waited for the effects of the alcohol to make me sleepy.

Nope. Nothing, save for a warm feeling in my face.

I had another glass.

Um... This isn't working out.

I'm feeling like I want to turn this music up.

Who can I phone?

No... It's too late to be phoning anyone.

I want a bag of chips. Okay, I'm going to die if I don't have a bag of chips right now.

No - I'm on a strict budget. Besides, it's not like I can be driving anywhere anyway.

Okay... I felt kinda good for about ten minutes, but still not sleepy. Wasn't this supposed to make me sleepy?

I'm feeling a little dizzy. My head kinda hurts and my stomach isn't liking this. But still not sleepy.

Well, if three glasses didn't work, a fourth is not going to do me any good. This didn't work so well.

People actually do this to themselves on purpose. hmmm....

Really I should have known better... I think so, anyway. Remind me to tell you my two NyQuil stories - one where I got an award and the other when the OPP confined me to the law library in the Crown Attorney's office.

Nope. I won't be trying this again. Gotta find something that works, though.

Take That, Naysayers!

I decided to phone the bank instead of going in there. It's harder to unintentionally intimidate people over the phone and then if I wanted to roll my eyes or something, they wouldn't be able to see it.

So the guy at the bank I was talking to said, "Well, that's strange"

What I was thinking: It's more than strange; It's idiotic!

What I actually said: "yes."

Then he said: "Well why did they do that?"

What I was thinking: How in the heck would I know?! Whaddya mean by even asking me that?!

What I actually said: "Gee... I don't know."

It went on...

Eventually the situation was fixed. My mortgage did bounce but they agreed to fix that with the mortgage company.

I went and celebrated by having Timmie's coffee with a friend.

Someone from my church left an envelope for me. It contained $50! I was really surprised because hardly anyone knows about what's going on. The only people at church who know what's going on are the Pastors and Spike (the husband of one of the pastors).

My son is now living with me - very cramped conditions for him. This is tough on him, but he's making some healthy and thoughtful decisions.

My interview for that promotion is tomorrow.

The snow melted and all the doggie mess has been revealed. Gross! Gotta get that cleaned up today.

Thinking about specific plans. What I'm doing isn't working well enough - time to do some fine tuning.

The house financing went through. As soon as the cheque clears I'll be able to consolidate most of my debt. This will save me a thousand dollars a month! That's huge.

I'm still not pulling in what I need to meet basic needs and obligations... but I'm not giving up.

I want to take these positives and shove them in the faces of people who told me to give up, those who told me it was impossible, those who said that what I'm doing is stupid, those who say that God can't or won't help... Saying such things to someone whose faith is shaken, who is struggling just to survive, who wants to hope but doesn't really (more like hoping to hope..)... saying such things was demoralizing and discouraging rather than helpful.

And guess what! I'm still here! I'm still in my home and I still have my animals in spite of how impossible it is! I take no credit for that, by the way. This was impossible for me. But nothing is impossible for God and He DID the impossible.

Take that, naysayers! HA!

I still have a very long, long way to go. But God has brought me this far and He will be with me until the end and longer.

This doesn't mean I'm not scared or stressed or weary; I am. It does mean that God is stronger than all of the forces and circumstances that would come to bear against me.

And thank you to those who have been and continue to be a part of this journey.

Fifty-Seven-Thousand!

I just went to my online banking to make sure my mortgage payment went through okay. What I found shocked me and I'm steamed.

Someone at the bank put FIFTY-SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS on hold! I don't even HAVE that kind of money! That means I have ZERO dollars for the mortgage or anything else! Even if I magically came up with a ton of money, I'd have to deposit more than fifty-seven thousand dollars in order to get above that hold mark to pay for anything! What the #$%?!!!

Why is it that one can work and work and try and try, yet someone else can create such a mess of things?! I've worked hard to get the money for that mortgage payment. I've worked hard and been diligent to ensure my credit rating is good. The person who made this mistake will not suffer a bounced mortgage or a black mark on their credit!

There will be no sleep for me tonight. Then again my blood pressure is through the roof at the moment....

God, help me to refrain from doing anything terribly stupid at the bank in the morning! God, please don't let my mortgage have bounced.

Your Own First?

In a previous post (Tumbling Down), I wrote that I'd given away so much that I had put myself in the position of not being able to help myself and my boy. That same night, I decided to read from Proverbs. I read verse after verse of how it's important to give to people in need, which showed me that my thinking earlier in the night had been erroneous to a point.

So now I'm thinking that giving money is like helping people with their work. I'll explain.

At the restaurant (or anywhere I work) I work very hard. I generally get all of my work done plus do a number of tasks that are the jobs of others. I'm like this at any job. My attitude is that if something needs doing, then it should be done and I'm not going to stand around deciding whether or not to do it based on the notion of whose job it is. (Of course if it's something that I'm not qualified to do or for some other reason ought not to do, then it's different). I find that, regardless of the job, things run more smoothly and morale is better if everyone pitches in and does as much as they can.

I've also learned through the years that if I take care of someone else's responsibility before I take care of my own, I'll be left working late because I still have to do my own work and no one is going to help me with that no matter how much I help others. The solution to that is to do my own stuff and then help everyone else regardless of how much others try to pressure me to take care of their stuff before my own. (If I don't take care of my own responsibilities I can't stand around blaming someone else - That's why it's called responsibility and why it's assigned or designated.)

So I think it's similar with money (or services that really translate into money). There's a balance to be found and misplaced guilt or feeling sorry for people has no place in the equation. So not only is it okay to give things away, whether it be money, material or service, it's also good to give it. The part that's a bit tricky is that balance part. I should take care of my own needs and then give.

Does that sound right? I don't recall the Bible saying that anywhere, though. hmmm....

The other consideration is the definition of "need". What I think is need (as differentiated from want) is quite different from what most people I know think of as "need". My version is much less than others in North America. If you asked a kid on the street in Bangladesh about need, he or she would also have a very different answer.

*****

Side note: Remember how I told you about my friend who showed up at my house with all the fruits and vegetables? Well, if you'd asked me, I would have told you I didn't "need" that stuff, that I could live on oatmeal, that I still had meatballs in the fridge that my friend gave me. As it turns out, I was getting sick (just common cold kind of sick) but didn't know it yet. It also turns out that my other friend who had given me all those casseroles had wanted to do another one but was unable (I didn't know any of that, either, but wasn't expecting anything anyway). I know that having those fruits and vegetables shortened the duration and intensity of the cold, that the cold wasn't able to really grab onto me. Interesting how that happened just in time, eh. :)