The Giant Bird

If you read my last post, this one will make more sense.... at least I think it makes sense. :)

I dreamt that I opened the back door to let the dog out and was startled to see a giant bird standing at the door. It was the same bird that was killed yesterday. I felt a little afraid, but mostly sad and sorry for this giant bird at my door. The giant bird was carrying a suitcase.

The bird said, "I've come to stay."

I said, "Okay." But then I thought I shouldn't, so I said, "I'm sorry. You can't stay."

The bird stood there with his suitcase, expectantly waiting for me to let him in and give him permission to stay.

I said, "I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I feel terrible, but that does not mean you can move in here. You have to go where you belong now."

Then the bird went away.


When I awoke, I realized that I was not mad at the puppy at all; I was mad at me. I was upset with myself for not watching the puppy closely enough, for not paying attention to the warning squawks of the birds earlier, and for not being able to help or comfort the dying creature. I had projected that onto the puppy. It's not that I couldn't look at the puppy; It's that I couldn't look at myself.

The size of the bird in the dream was about my sadness over many things and the bird represents those things. Lately I've been stuffing a lot of feelings down in order to get through my days. I cannot afford the time to cry.

The bird wanted to move in. I had to tell him that he could not. That was a life decision, a cognitive processing decision, a spiritual decision and it was sad to tell the bird to go away. Still it was the right thing to do.

Okay... I'm probably making no sense to anyone, but it does make sense to me at least. :)