Conversation With A Stalker

As you know, a particular man has been stalking me for six years.  I've worked hard to keep myself safe.  The courts failed me - actually made matters worse - so I've had to rely on myself.

I went to great lengths to change the appearance of the house so it looked like someone other than me was living here.

I stopped going to all of my favorite places.

I've developed the habit of peeking out the window before I leave the house, to make sure he's not out there watching.

I shred all documents and am very careful about what goes in my garbage.

I stopped sitting out on the porch at night which is something I use to enjoy.

I stopped rollerblading and jogging.

I cut off contact with a whole lot of people.

I've got my windows frosted so no one can see in.  

I do not use my living room or dining room after dark.

The list goes on and on.

Tonight I let my guard down.

I was out front working on the lawn.

Guess who showed up.

Yep.  

The stalker.

Scared me half out of my wits.

Luckily for me my training kicked in at about the same time my adrenaline shot through my body, making it hard to think or even breathe.

He approached me and said hello.

It's amazing how fast your brain can scan and size up a whole lot of information.

I believed he was not there for me - not there to kill me.

I did something I would never recommend to anyone else, but because I was able to size up the situation myself, I said hello back.

He started talking to me.  He was being polite, cautiously friendly.

You know, when the body kicks into high gear and you've got all those chemicals surging through you, your heart rate is up, your blood racing to your major muscle groups, and all the other physiological things that occur to help you survive, but you don't do anything with it, don't run, don't fight... and that stuff has nowhere to go, it actually hurts.

I had a conversation with him.

He still doesn't understand what the big problem is, why I had to call the police on him so many times....

But he's decided not to kill me.

Time will tell if this incident was a good thing or a bad thing.

If something happens to me, if I have an accident, go missing, end up dead, somebody please show the police this post.  They already have his name and the history on file.