Updates

Updates...

The male tenant is gone but his cat and his stuff are still here. He showed up here to find the locks had been changed and he rang the doorbell for an hour and kept banging on my kitchen window. He ended up punching the house a few times before he left. He also sent my son some crass sexually oriented messages about me. My son kept telling me to let the guy in and just talk to him in order to stop the escalation.

Well, given that I'd already repeatedly tried the talking to him route, that I wasn't going to give the guy what he wanted whether I opened the door or not, and given the kinds of messages he was texting to my son about me, the guy's attitude of doing whatever he wants regardless of anything I say, the incessant bell ringing and the angry punching the house, I believed that opening the door would have done nothing to de-escalate the situation and would simply reward his bad behaviour thereby reinforcing that behaviour. The guy knows how to phone me, write a letter, call the police if he truly feels he's right. Instead he chose an angry forceful route, communicating with physicality rather than words or reason. No. I knew better than to open the door.

I won't get into the full explanation about all that; You get the general idea.

The neighbour was sneaking around on the far side of my driveway two days ago. I went out to see if there was something wrong. It turns out he saw my son's car and thought it was the male tenant and was coming to check on me and was ready for a physical confrontation with this guy.

I thought that was exceptionally good of him to do that, to even think to do that. How many people would willingly put themselves in harm's way for a neighbour?

There are four people who think I did the right thing by changing the locks - my two pastors, my neighbour, and me. It seems that everyone else thinks I'm cold-hearted, cruel, mean, unfair, unreasonable.

I do not care. (Well, okay, yes it bugs me, but it's not going to change what I've decided to do here.)

People at work are asking about it. Very loudly, so as many people as possible could overhear (but without being actually disruptive or anything), I said that no matter what I did or didn't do somebody would think it's wrong; People criticize me for letting people get away with too much, but then when I say 'enough', 'no', they criticize me and say I'm mean or cold or unreasonable.

It's so easy to judge, isn't it.... so easy to criticize.

My son told me that I have changed. He said that there was a time when nothing upset me, when I never got upset or excited about anything. People use to use the word, "unflappable" to describe me. For the past couple of years I've been very different from that. I did not like hearing this from my boy, but he's right. I am exploring the reasons why, how, and making some conscious choices about where I'm going mentally and emotionally and how I'm going to get there.

One of the things Pastor R said to me was, "If it was some other lady saying this stuff [about the tenant situation] you'd be all over it!"

He was absolutely right.

I wrote to a friend of mine who has been in law enforcement for many years and who is also a volunteer firefighter. I asked him if he protects and advocates for himself as much or as strongly as he does for other people. His answer was that he does not and neither do so many other protectors. He also said that the worst ones, the ones who protect themselves the least, are the Christians.

Wow. Lots of implications there.

Then he said something else. He said that Christ said to love others as you love yourself. Jesus did NOT say love others instead of yourself.

Pastor R also pointed out that when Jesus was on the cross, the thief on one side of Him wanted help and received it. That thief went to paradise.

The other thief didn't want any help. So what did Jesus do? He didn't give it! He didn't say, 'oh please listen to me'. He let the guy make the choice. He let that guy go to hell.

I think that's powerful stuff. Lots of implications there, too, aren't there.

Back to work - I've been looking forward to this management position and hoping that the scheduling and less physically demanding work would allow me to go to church on Sundays (without having meltdowns in the pastor's office). They want me to work days every Sunday. I told them again that I really want to be able to go to church. The boss agreed (again), so we'll see what happens.

The psychopath continues to be passive-aggressive (and sometimes just aggressive) at work. He has hit me with brooms, handled scrub brushes and a squeegee. Of course it's all accidental, he says.

An accident is when you bump into someone; It's not accidental when you aim, then hit someone several times in rapid succession.

I've warned the managers and the senior boss about the guy. I've said I do not feel safe with him. I've said that they have to watch him and have to watch out for vulnerable staff. The guy is a ticking bomb and I've told them this. Whether they listen is another matter.

More is going to happen with all of this. I'm just glad that it is now much less likely to be happening in my own home.

tick, tick, tick, tick......