Worth It

I'd been thinking that my life had become petty because I wasn't doing enough to help other people and I've been thinking more about basic survival rather than anything deeper. But maybe it's not so petty... maybe God will use this time anyway - if I let Him.

Tonight at the night job I was having a conversation with a 17-year-old boy. I quite like this boy and he and I have a lot of conversations. It started out a while back when he had been very frustrated and angry over a situation where he had been demeaned and hurt and felt powerless. He'd wanted to explode in anger and retaliate. Instead, he chose to wait out the situation and then talk about it. He had chosen to talk about it to me. So we had this conversation about choices, about recognizing one's own feelings and thoughts, about empathy, about differences among people, about why people do some of the things they do, about personal responsibility, etc, etc. I had pointed out to him that he did indeed make a choice - a positive one - and told him I respected the choice that he'd made. You should have seen it - You could see the lights go on in his eyes. That was the first of many conversations we've had.

As it turns out, this boy wants to be a police officer. Right now he is facing all sorts of situations and choices which could make or break him in terms of his dreams. We're talking about those. We're talking about options and opportunities. No one has really talked to him that way before; Some people just assume that kids learn this stuff on their own. It occurred to me tonight that perhaps God is using me for this boy. If my care for him and the time spent with him can influence him to make a positive choice or avoid a bad one or make him feel like he has a real shot at life, like he's worth something... well, to me that's worth a lot of sleep deprivation and blisters on my feet. Jesus had to die; I don't have to go nearly that far.

The subjects that came up tonight were cars, money, credit cards, guys who are afraid of girls, anti-Semitism, asphyxia, sexual deviance, and... God. Not too many adults would have that kind topical diversity in a conversation. I'm grateful that this boy trusts me enough to talk to me like this. I'm grateful that I'm comfortable in discussing these things. I'm grateful that God opens these doors. I'm grateful that God has given me this responsibility, but I recognize I need Him in order to make it work the way it ought to.

And I'm grateful for my puppy who just snuck in here (as if I'm not going to see her), grabbed something out of the garbage basket and ran away - haha!

God, please bless teenagers and dogs. Please bless messed up people (including me, please). Please bless everyone who searches for answers, who needs a little peace, a little help, a little strength, a little wisdom. Please bless all of those who work hard and those who try even if they fail. God please bless my friends, and thank You for them.

And God, please save my home and my animals. Please bless my business. I'm willing to work hard, but I still need You more than anything else.

Amen

Gotta try to catch some z's now; I have court first thing in the morning.

Thank you to everyone reading and commenting and walking through this with me.